A Month of Mondays: Changes

We are on a journey. A journey unlike any other we've ever experienced... and we'd like to share it with you. So, for next few weeks, we will blog about our latest experiences, our struggles, and our hope. A month of Monday's will give you a glimpse into our lives...

I'm experiencing so many emotions that I'm having trouble articulating what it is I want to say... Let's just say there have been some changes taking place. And change isn't always easy. In fact, it becomes uncomfortable and scary at times. But, I am learning how the Lord can use these changes to glorify Himself, to stretch our thinking and our faith, and to refine us. It is what must be done and what helps us rely on Him.

We said that the main reason we came to seminary was to learn to trust the Lord better. Believe me, it's happening! Throughout the past 3 years we have often wondered how we would survive the school work and the financial strains. We have been blessed to have had churches who have partnered with us and assisted us along the way. For that, we are so very thankful. Their financial contributions have helped us to stay here even when we felt like we wanted to quit. There have been times when we felt like the pressure was too great and we were helpless. But the Lord has been faithful to prove that He is far greater than the circumstances we now find ourselves in. He knows what we need and will provide it... I'm just struggling a little (ok, alot) with finding contentment during these times. I'm struggling with this whole "stretching" process. While we continue to learn how to stretch our money and our time... we find that we are exhausted and my mind keeps trying to get ahead of God and figure things out for myself. I am currently looking for employment after a recent interview did not work out the way I anticipated. I have found myself so consumed with finding the perfect job that I have missed opportunities to love and lead my children. This makes me angry with myself because I have let some of my wants become my needs. When in actuality, all I need is for my life to display the beauty of Christ and the hope that we have in Him. I am struggling with pride... when to ask for help and when to not. Making our needs known is hard for me and the thought of putting this on our blog is difficult. But, I know that if you don't have a clue what's going on in our lives... you can't pray for us. I do believe in the power of prayer and it's ability to change circumstances. I especially believe in the power of prayer to change hearts and attitudes. Maybe that is all I need...